How are you feeling about Zimbabwe this morning?

Source: 3 August 2018Analysis and Comment, Elections

The morning of Zimbabwe’s Presidential Election Results announcement, we asked our members: How are you feeling about Zimbabwe this morning?

There were a few voices of hope, positivity, celebration and determination, but the despondent outweighed the optimists by about ten to one. Here is some of what you had to say . . .


It wasn’t easy for President Ed to just loose elections after removing Former president Mugabe. So let give Mr President the chance.

Disappointed at the negativity of people especially also at the fact that in this day and age that democracy seems to be interpreted only as the favorable result by those who say they stand for it and if the result is otherwise it no longer rings the same.

I feel hopeful. He had engaged serious investors. He spoke hope and sense. I wait to see the fruits.

Zanu PF win means more suffering for Zimbabweans.

It’s a waste of time and resources conducting elections in Zimbabwe.

I am devastated and hurt deeply as a young female. I lost my job in 2015 because of the stupid law they amended of 3 months notice retrenchment. Got another job and lost it again. Now I am just sitting at home hoping for things to change. Darkness fell upon us last night. Dreams were shattered. 5 more years of unemployment is painful. I am leaving this country.

The feeling is mutual is it going to worsen or improve in terms of economic issues and the development of the country. I’m confused.

I am so angry! Another five years of this kind of life??!!! I won’t do this! There goes my patriotism, I’m done with being a Zimbabwean.

ED and Zec have robbed us again of our bright future. Personally these results have sent me to depression. ZANU PF will surely send me to my grave earlier. I’m hurt.

This is a disappointing moment for Zimbabwe(the good hearts). The way forward is never to lose hope in things you take to be good for your nation. As of now, let us all return to meet at the human denominator and our political differences, whether driven by propriety or by avarice, ineptitude and lack of insight, should be set aside. However,the fight for truth and a civilized way of life should never be deemed over, for the pillars of civilisation (democracy, constitutionalism,rule of law etc) are still a death trap in this shelter called Zimbabwe.

I am actually angry l don’t know if it’s the correct emotion but if it is the true result of the election let them rule l will endure the next five years in pain. What kind of a country is this in which the one who goes to work everyday at the end of the month gets paid only to go and pay money changers on the street half of his salary to get cash. I rest my case am actually angry.

A sad day for Zimbabweans! My heart goes to the two gentlemen from MDC Alliance who were brave enough to tell the world the truth last night.

Great results though they are not a true reflection of matabeleland and Bulawayo in particular.

It’s so painful kuty they can go to this end to take away all that we had words fail me honestly what really does our future hold by close of voting less than 4 million pple had voted where did the 4 million on presidential ballots come from

Guys, change of gvts thru elections does not work where there is no democracry.
What is the timeframe given for those who want to challenge the election results before the declared winner is inaugrated but challenging the declared winner through a system that participated in bringing about “that” result is like asking someone to onvestigate themselves.

I feel good this morning in a new Zimbabwe with a new leader.

These results were calculated to make sure the crocodile wins. Thats what she wanted

I feel like I am having nightmares or to be specific “madzikirira” that is being tormented but too powerless to respond. My worry is, since things got worse from Nov coup, what more in 5yrs – @nigelmunya

Well, I was quite awake when ZEC was announcing the presidential results. After the very last announcement and declaration of the winner, my borne marrow and the body became numb, thought my ears were betraying me. There was a moment of silent madness, my body coordination seemed to be cut and paralysed shortly. Well, its difficult to precisely describe the world I was in. BUT, after a brief moment of prayer, scripture meditation, I became in terms with reality, the denial phase was slowly evacuating.

Well, I wish the new President the best. I therefore call upon all stakeholders to join hands for the good of our nation. Together we win!

I feel terrible about Zimbabwe. Five more years without hope. Look the now proclaimed president is just power hungry and not concerned with the citizens especially the youth. We are the people that continue to suffer in this country whilst the so termed “big wigs” clings to power in order to get whatever leftover of the country that is there. Today Zimbabwe drains power from me it leads me deep to the pit of hopelessness and fear.

When they came and told us it was a new dispensation we thought it would be a better dispensation. Alas its a new dispensation worse than what we were experiencing before their arrival.

They gave us a precursor of what to expect in the next 5 years, when they shot unarmed civilians.

With a 2/3s majority they can now amend the constitution at will to suit their selfish desires.

November was never about the people of Zimbabwe. July 30 was never about Zimbabwe, just big men trying to launder their evil coup deeds.

Our hearts bleed as we are lied to and expected to believe that the future of professionals and tac payers working in Harare has been determined by a herdboy in Uzumba!

My heart bleeds for Zimbabwe and its citizens.

 

All having been said and done, we campaigned we registered we voted different parties different individuals. however something great makes us one, humanity. love and peace make us one human race surpassing race, gender, or political affiliation. – Tafadzwa

Um sooooo sad..bored..the list s endless any word that cn define haertfelt suits here

Personally I am deeply hurt from the bottom of my heart I am not happy

I am depressed. Like I am settling into the despindency of pre-Mawarire.

I feel cheated. It is my fervent hope that NC has enough evidence to prove that ZANU PF rigged the poll.

I feel angry. Angry at ZEC, angry at ZANU PF, angry at some of these Alliance MPs and Councillors who sat back and expected Chamisa to campaign for them.

I’m just disappointed, I had expected change and this kind of thing happens.

Not happy at all we know who we voted for. And come to think of it, what kind of a victory is this without a celebration? No one w really celebrating so who voted for ED? Food for thought!

I am hurt. Zimbabwe wil never change from povert. Zimbabwe is a country for those on high table. – Silas in Honde valley

Its so sad, i personally had been so hopeful that a new era was to begin but all hopes were shattered.

Feeling dejected especially when a No vote has been changed to yes by a rogue regime.

To me the results are the product of zec and the outcomes ‘they’ say are from the votes we cast. I can’t absolutely comment on whether thry cooked the results or they neutrally count the votes we casted. My major concern is on the intervention of the army, especially the part of using bullets rather than rubber one. Above all wasn’t it the duty for the police.?
I personally became a victim on the day after the violence. Whilst l was walking in town, l took out my cellphone from the pocket just to take a glance on time. Suddenly soldiers were around me claiming that l shot them a foto. Thanks God l manoeuvre from their hands in an unquantified rush.
Thus, is it illegal to use my phone in the CBD? Is it how peace can be installed by brutalising the innocent civilians. I personally think that, in a bid to develop Zimbabwe let’s consider human rights first.

I’m happy with the election but sad at the some time because of the utterance of MDC which may lead to further suffering of the people of Zimbabwe.

I disagree with this results especially on the Presidential elections results. Chamisa won openly.He compiled all the results from all the Polling stations.ZEC has rigged the elections.We as Zimbabweans we are not going to tolerate that rubbish. Why should we worst our time going to Polling stations & cast our votes yet ZANU PF when the results are out they denie the will of the people. Investors must not come here in Zimbabwe as long the elections were not conducted in free,fair & credible.Why army is in the streets?And why results of the elections were announced in late hours when people voted where sleeping?Hav we voted during the night?

Zimbabwe we are going to suffer mnangagwa has nothing new to offer. We are going to see high unemployment, poverty,hyper inflation, economic, political, social instability

The results are quite disturbing, but one can not be a proud leader of poor rural electorate

I’m feeling depressed and I’m finding it difficult to accept the outcome although it has already went viral but I hope I will be well soon . thank u for the update anyway.

It’s either one buckles down and survive or figure out how to leave this country.

Deeply confused but it is politics. Zimbabwe will get through it

Zanu PF is now purely a rural party.

You seem to be reasonably intelligent people. Therefore try to at least sound intelligent in your analyses of what happened to our country. Context and a knowledge of our immediate history is important. We had a military coup not even 9 months ago. The people behind the coup are in control of ALL the institutions of our democracy (including the electoral commission). Massive voter intimidation delivered that “rural vote”. Not to mention flagrant bias by the zec (giving zanu our phone numbers, the shambolic voters roll and the V11 fiasco). I wont even start on ZBC and Zimpapers. Simply pathetic

Well l have got mixed feelings abt the results of the elections not sure if this is going to change the situation we are tired of being jobless, cash not available.

Zimbabwe is full of sadness, if he indeed won where is the joy?

I’m so heartbroken. Feeling hopeless. Hopes of getting a good job, a better life, hopes of taking care of my loved ones shattered. And what makes it worse is time waits for no man. All the hopes of redeeming lost time are gone.

My feeling is that although I don’t have any faith in ZANU pf, MDC Alliance supporters shouldn’t have taken to the streets.We were fighting for these elections to be credible in the eyes of foreign observers so that they lift all those sanctions from our country. At least so that we could start getting foreign investors back in the country. I however don’t support the killings of unarmed civilians by the Army.I condemn it to it’s strongest terms. With this party nothing will change because of their shared mentality of the armed struggle.But what we need to do now is to fight for the sanctions if we have the chance so that we start getting foreign investors back.

It is really sad that zanu pf still believes in torture and brutality and will do anything to gain popularity or at least being infamous among the people . I for a fact feel injustice was done ,the v11issue was never assessed to the public’s knowledge ,nor did we hear confirmation from other contesting parties that the verification process was done moreover the continual delays and postponing of result announcements was just evidence to the people that zEC is not an organised group in its own .they have definitely lost confidence in the people

I m hopeless I need some motivation, I’m sadened by the death of the 6 at the hands of the military

It is now Monday, and I have felt much the same since Friday… an awkward lethargic feel. Much like when I got mugged the second time some three Wednesdays ago, on my way home. I had just alighted from a Westgate-bound kombi – uhh, lets say a combination of rusting scrap, tattered seats and sitting in 4’s ( I had been at the dreaded back-seat too). I jumped off a little after half 7, and going up my road, an SUV sped down towards me and relieved me of my hard earned possessions. Yes, everything from my Avon sling-bag, watch, wallet, paperwork, cash, charger, phone, earphones, keys and all else plus groceries. Relevance: Well, the feeling is much the same. A violation of sorts… Stolen items, stolen election, stolen… The violation does not stop… We pray still!
– Joe

I choose to be optimistic. I can’t continue to live under a cloud of my perceptions of Zanu, so I choose to look up at blue sky. I choose to believe tht opportunity will come, tht Zimbabwe rise. Zimbabwe is my home. I can make the part I’m in sunny by being the change. …by being the change we failed to see in govt. Yes there are undeniable realities, but they would have had to be dealt with eventually regardless of who won. So I’m hopeful, because without hope surely everything is dead.
– Tidz

The situation which we find ourselves is sad as it is. If we have any more unrest any potential foreign investment goes. MDC have 7 days to go to court and provide evidence the results were rigged. As long as we have peace, I don’t care who’s in government per se but just see a an improvement in services. MDC were not guaranteed to change the situation overnight. So now we will see if Zimbabwe is truly open for business and whether foreign investment will come back. If NC successfully challenges, I’ll still feel the same.
– Victoria

Am happy that the opposition have finally realized that divided they are nothing and united they have a chance. They have also realized that they are not gods and goddesses that can just play with people and people jump around for their petty fights and differences.
– Khumbulani

Reminded that democracy is for all and no Zimbabwean more Zimbabwean than the other. People made their choice respect it and if aggrieved approach the courts but Zimbabwe will move forward.
– Nyasha

I am optimistic that Zimbabwe is bigger than any human being and it’s time for change..and that change itself will change the country. I remain patriotic.
– Farai

Unlike the 2008 and 2013 elections I feel energised. President @nelsonchamisa and team have awakened a giant in me. They redefined politics. I will hold on to the memories from the rallies and the lesson that it is possible to win even when under resourced.
– Tinashe

Disappointed, frustrated, powerless, vulnerable
– Tonderai

Good. Ready to work!
– Nyari

Feeling good & optimistic. No time to sit down and lick wounds. Time waits for no man. We dance to the song thats playing not the one we would want to play. Whilst we are seated and sulking others are making the most of the opportunities available in this Great country of ours.
– Elvin

Sad, hard done by. The realisation that another five years we will be living on hope, hope they will do the right thing. All we want it a better Zimbabwe with oppotunities for all. The past 38 years sum it up as they were part of the regime. Can they change?
– Fungayi

Was hoping to do a PhD in Zim with my family close. Was willing to teach in Zim for hoping things will change. Was hoping a change in leadership will bring in change in fortunes. Everything is on fire. Want out of the country
– Nyombwe

I woke up a bit disappointed. But my hope as Zimbabwean shld never be in man but God.God’s pure word reminded m that He is still in full control so Rejoice & Let God be God and every man a liar. God is not man.. so yaa.. just that gives me hope and true joy.
– Pauline

Depressed and too emotional right now. But against all hope I still believe in hope
– Faith

Sick to my stomach and fearful for our future- anticipating fuel and food shortages, skyrocketing price hikes and a black market out of control. Don’t mean to be so pessimistic, but judging from what’s happened in our past I’m finding it very difficult to be positive
– Selina

Wondering what the next 5 years have in store for us and hoping we can use that time, long as it may be, to build a stronger and united opposition (Fadzayi, Nelson, Nkosana)…Just my hopes. Otherwise life goes on, there are bread & butter issues to attend to with or without ZPF.
– Thembie

We can’t and should not give up the fight for a just, value-based society in Zimbabwe. The wheel is in motion and certainly turning; but a lot of damage has been done in the past- so this is a long game. #DontGiveUp
– Howard

I feel betrayed by ZEC, am so sad, hopeless I dont see light at the end of this dark tunnel, these ppl only care about power and themselves, what about is millions of Zimbabweans who are suffering.
– Chipo

…we are too hard on ourselves…we need to stay connected and make the demands for delivery to those who pledged a new beginning .. critically don’t sit back and expect someone to do… get involved practically like we all did last November…. I beg you pliz don’t give up!
– Mike

I think my whole family needs some counselling, cnt bear to see them so distressed.
– Romie

Robbed, dissapointed, shatterd, crushed
– Ropa

Asking my self “who will we be? Zimbabwe is cursed
– Maxwell

Feeling lost, betrayed, cheated, backtracked, doomed future, directionless and hopeless
– Taropafadzwa

heart broken
– Kudakwashe

I’ve been robbed of my better future, am directless and hopeless…
– Spencer

Hollow. So, focusing on building essential skills in the youth
– Lynda

Shattered
– Penias

Robbed
– Caroline

Worried, sick, angry
– Khotso

Ready to bulid the nation
– Victoria

Robbed
– Ropa

Dejected
– Butsilo

Pessimistic…and doomed
– Joseph

Utterly heartbroken. Again.

I have been humming Macheso’s chero vandisiya ndiri mupenyu since last night. That’s how I am feeling.
– Portia

I feel very skeptical. Still trying to come to terms that the country has endorsed the status quo…another five years of hopelessness.
– Kudzayi

This is the worst feeling in the world. Who will fight for us now. Who will fight for our children. What future is there for is now. I cannot express the dissappointment we are feeling. Us the little man are once again cast into the darkness. No one to recognise our struggles.
– Evelynne

Am hurting ths morning, results that were announced are to accept,the more i thnk about it,its like i will go another 5years suffering, unemployed but qualified, still renting. Its very painful to accept what the zec announced yesterday.
– NT

I am honestly feeling so low, mild depression setting in. I’m 24, I can’t imagine another 5 years of the kind of leadership I witnessed since November which was adding to the past 37 years. My chance to dream has been sent to the grave. I’m honestly contemplating leaving the country, somewhere that will allow me to dream and live the dreams. If NC had won, I would have gotten a chance to dream again.
– Depressed youth with a future stolen

It’s sad that the hopes and aspirations of the young generation have been crushed in about 4 days. I feel sad! Now we go back to toil in foreign lands for some of us, at home I know it’s more painful. It’s up to the president to prove he has this under control. The lives lost are a bad start to his administration, May They Rest In Peace. Appointing deadwood and corrupt incompetent ministers, as done after events of November 2017, it will be foolhardy to believe anything will ever change.
– Gospel

Surely i feel very disturbed n hopeless. Myself n kids hve been robbed of a bette future.
– Chamunorwa

Feeling devastated. I can’t believe we are stuck with ZANU PF for the next 5 years again.
– Carlos

Its is interesting how the presidential results are almost 50 -50 yet the same result is not mimicked in the parliament seats. Logically you would have expected a similar result. Either way this looks like 2008 again but none the less we have seen the true colors of the new leadership i.e. lack of transparency and allowing use of live bullets on civilians by soldiers who swore to defend and protect them.
– Ruth

I am feeling very very Bad and much degusted by Mnangagwa & Zanu PF, they always steal the lives of the innocent Zimbabweans. It really bad. I cant not continue to live under this dictatorial regime.
– Benson

So dejected
– Clifton

Mixed emotions really. I am a single mum of two boys. I have a 9 hour job and every month I get my salary when its already finished. Rent, bills and black tax if you know what I mean leaves me broke again and the struggle continues as I wait for the next paycheck. I can not invest in my children’s future, I can not take a mortgage so I can have my own place. The current situation is that the rich will always be rich and the poor will always poor. Maybe things will change, we just have to wait and see. Surely the struggle is real!
– Sophie

Feeling Numb
– Sharon

Our future has been stolen….Like a thief in the middle of the night….they robbed our dream with a crafted 50.8%.
– Tonde

It feels Hopeless. I wonder how one feels when knowing that you’re not loved but you impose yourself in a position of authority. Desperation?
– Green

i am fine, Zimbabwe is well.
– Thanks

I feel abandoned and vulnerable. I feel cheated and hopless. I cant express how I am feeling in words. I wish you were inside my heart I am hurt.
– Gracious

Im low, I feel like The Grinch stole Christmas.
– Stuart

Fraud
– Tinashe

I am hoping we can move on to the real issues facing the country … as one. And that ED may be big enough to make room for NC near the top. Can hope.
– Liz

It’s unfortunate that when parties don’t do or partially their homework and get the feet dirty and dusty walking village by village they expect results from mass meetings and populist rhetoric. Tiger Woods only triumphed from 10 years of practice starting at age 4… similarly Barack Obama cut his political teeth working in the poor neighborhoods of Chicago but he had to do the leg work of convincing voters.
– Mike, via email

This has resulted in mixed feelings within me. In as much as I anticipated a different result I however commend the ZEC for a job well done as compared to the previous election handlers. Results were out in time and a raft of changes were made though not as we would have antipated. Democracy is for the entire country not confined to the urban dwellers. The results prove a dynamic shit from the previous regime where urban dwellers were the only voters for ZANU. 2023 will be definitely different, it is high time the opposition regroup, and restrategise. And there is no room for complacancy for all parties now. Congratulations to the winning party.
– Mandhlenkosi

Anxious about when the fun will begin, for fun read; longer ques in banks, long fuel, food etc ques, buying everything via the black market.
– Thembelihle

The results are all fake. People’s rights and trust has been abused.
– Esther

Disappointed, dejected, dismayed, defeated.

Feeling jaded, not from a hangover, but because I stayed up to hear the results! Disappointed! I really thought we had a good chance this time but was immediately suspicious when I heard the Chiredzi South results in the first batch. The figures seem perposturous and how come a constituency furthest from Harare gets announced first and other constituencies on the doorstep get announced last!
– Mike

All we want is change, we are not interested in a person. If he won through credible ways, nothing wrong with Mnangagwa. He should now show himself that he can rescucitate the Zimbabwean economy!
– Sibonokuhle

Its a Black Friday for Zimbabwe. The sombre atmosphere around the country can tell you that the COMMAND RESULTS are not what people voted for and do not reflect the will of the people. I am just feeling totally dejected.
– Timothy

All hope in democracy is dead. We have more years of suffering.
– Abias

Stressed and everything that comes along with it! I thought this time we had made it, it was a really rude awakening. All said and done we go back to our daily hustle hoping for the best.
– Angel

Unsurprised. The result was what was expected.
– Tony

Not sure of what the future holds for me.
Not sure of the future of my children.
Not sure about what to expect from our President.
Not sure whether to celebrate or to cry.
My feelings about my beloved country do not ignite in me any confidence, am indifferent and with no doubt uncertain about tomorrow.
– Mai Nashe

How do people sleep when and wake up being merry and all knowing everything they did was somewhat questionable? I am not happy for the future of my child because its bleak. What makes you think Zimbabwe will be sweet this time around when they have been in power for the past 38 yrs before the coup and they destroyed the economy? After the coup, what will change. Mark my words, corruption will be worse, vendors will multiply, prices of basic commodities already gone up!
– Daphne

Dear Kubatana

Well, I was quite awake when ZEC was announcing the presidential results.

After the very last announcement and declaration of the winner, my borne marrow and the body became numb, thought my ears were betraying me. There was a moment of silent madness, my body coordination seemed to be cut and paralysed shortly. Well, its difficult to precisely describe the world I was in. BUT, after a brief moment of prayer, scripture meditation, I became in terms with reality, the denial phase was slowly evacuating.

Well, I wish the new President the best. I therefore call upon all stakeholders to join hands for the good of our nation.
Together we win!!

Yours reader
Milson

m totally dissappointed
– Loice

Let down by lack of transparency in handling the plebiscite. And devastated by use of excessive force and loss of lives
– Godwin

Gut renching on a number of fronts:
– It exposed how we have not moved from wanting to thwart the wishes of the people by stealing votes.
– While we’re Open For Business, the military action left investors unsure whether their investment would be safe. Could the President be trusted to do what he says he’ll do.
– When our electoral management system, inspite of changes at the top, has remained unable or emasculated to do the right thing.
– I hope there’s a future that does not make more young people (many came to vote) disenchanted to choose to seek to choose their leaders by the civilised way of casting votes. The average 82% of voter turn out (if you choose to believe it) is high and may never get that high with the charade we saw this week.

Asante sana….
– Britone

I do not know why people are so surprised at the result. If one has as much blood on ones hands as Mnangagwa, how can one afford to loose an election. Coupled with that, the new masters, China, would simply not allow it. Lets not forget he went to China, to clear the removal of Mugabe. So history has repeated itself, and will do so again, next time round.
– Gerald

Elections outcome most zimbabweans are not happy especially the young generation they needed a young, charismic, diplomatic leader Nero to be precise.Thank you
– Gondai

I love Zimbabwe,its my home but it breaks my heart to see it on its knees. It is a rich country in resources and intellect but that is not being tapped into fully. Very few people are benefiting from our country. A lot of young people with degrees, have no jobs to use the knowledge they have acquired. Most of our people are in other countries busy making those countries prosper, when they can be using their intellect here in our country. If only they are job opportunities and the economy was better, then Zimbabwe would be a better place. Right now I am uncertain of what the future holds for me and my fellow youth. Will things get better in this our Zimbabwe or is our future doomed?
– Samantha

feeling cheated really
– Para

As a first time voter, as my ink fades away, I feel voting in #Zimbabwe is a waste of time, more like legitimacy laundering. As a Christian I’m convinced it is God who sets the course for Kings.
– Pretty

Unfortunately these politicians know religion sents us into passivity which plays to their advantage. One wonders why the sudden turn to religious gatherings when it’s election time. The Bible has interpretation for every outcome win or lose no one seems to know the absolutes
– Mucha

Deflated. All hope for a better future slowly fading away.
– Hillary

My family made me leave Zim when I was 19 and move to the UK, 13yrs later I have established myself and looking towards the prospects of returning HOME! those prospects took a heavy knock this week and I am heartbroken to think it will never happen… #diaspora #ZimbabweCrisis
– Bryan

Weak , i thought my kids will see a better Zimbabwe unlike me their father moving from one country to another to feed them but i guess thats what God choose for us .

It’s a sombre moment for most Zimbos in the diaspora, a feeling of hopelessness, despair, loss, confusion even.

The word distrust in English is based on past evidence. Mistrust is merely a feeling. After ED unnecessarily authorizing army brute force (live ammunition on unarmed youngsters desparate for a better life (when he had teargas, water tanks and rubber bullets) is beyond cruel. His character has again been exposed before a world that’ll rush to endorse and invest. *Yet* his past and recent behaviour screams ‘don’t *trust* this man’.
– SB

Ini hangu I’m not too unhappy because MDC has made inroads. ED has to perform because he is skating on very thin ice . . .

There goes our Zimbabwe again . . .

Mixed feelings. No hard feelings.

They’ve pulled a Vladmir Putin on us.

For how long are we going to suffer.

Feeling dejected and in despair.

It’s distresing.

Am feling disappointed guys.

We hope Zimbabwe will be well.

Zimbabweans once again have been robbed of their voice.

We are so much worried about the situation.

Suffer continue, or get worse.

I am depressed without hope for better governance.

Confused, hurt, cheated, angry, scared.

Outraged.

I feel powerless.

Very stressed.

Cheated.

Outraged.

Devastated

I feel so bad to be Zimbabwean at the moment.

Helpless

Despairing

Really not happy with Zanu and its ZEC.

I’m feeling glad about Zimbabwe.

Reply comes from God.

It’s time to suffer again. I am not happy at all.

Heartbroken

Family disintegration continues.

Outraged, the way you would put it.

I’m sad and feeling downtrodden, powerless and useless.

Hopeless